But it’s how they deal with conflict that counts. In her clinical work and research on happy couples, Dubinsky has found that all couples have conflict. The experts suggested these tips for making love last. Partners feel safe being themselves and being vulnerable with each other. “Healthy adult love exists when both partners are emotionally interdependent meaning that both partners love one another, care for one another, desire physical closeness with one another, but respect each other enough to have their own identities as well,” said Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples, premarital and newlywed counseling. Psychologist Erich Fromm inspired Dubinsky’s definition of true love: “an act of will and judgment, intention and promise.” Sharp also focused on commitment, and added that true love involves choices and behaviors shared by partners.

Love also means being empathic, meeting each other’s needs and supporting your partner when they need you, she said. “For some people it may mean saying, ‘I love you.’ For other people it may involve changing the oil in the car.”

She described love as a process that includes how you love your partner and how your partner wants to be loved.

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